I know one Forum that signed a 30-year contract to stay together through all of life’s ups and downs. Last I heard, the group is still together and highly functioning. This is not the typical case, however. Most Forums go through an ebb and flow of new members.
There are many reasons why a member might choose to leave on their own. However, for the purposes of this post, I want to hone in on the difficult time when a member doesn’t go on their own, but all signs point to them not being engaged, connected, and committed to the Forum.
Here are three red flags that a member needs to be asked to leave.
- They Miss More Than 2 Meetings Per Year – Most Forums have flexibility regarding the number of meetings you can miss annually. It usually is 2 to 3 meetings per year. Life happens occasionally, and people have busy seasons, so it’s understandable that they might be unable to make a few meetings per year. But if a member misses more than two meetings within a year, that is usually a sign that either they don’t have flexibility over their own schedule to participate or are not committed to the group.
- They Are Never Prepared – it’s one thing to attend a meeting; it’s another thing to attend and not be prepared. If someone continuously shows up without having done any prep work for the Forum, such as their monthly update, it might be a sign that they are not treating the Forum with as much value as the rest of the members.
- Never Responds To Messages – in between the meetings, the group often does both formal and informal communications. Formal communication is needed for logistical things for the Forum. Informal communication is more personal and intended to strengthen the relationships between the members. In either case, if a member never replies or is very hard to get a reply from, it might be another sign that they are not valuing the Forum.
While if a member only has one of these three flags, it might not be that big of an issue. If they have all three flags, they certainly are a member that should be asked to leave so that you can bring in someone new. As the saying goes with employees, A-Players want to hang out with A-Players. B&C-Players want to hang out with A-Players, but A-Players do not want to hang out with B&C-Players. So that means if you keep the B&C-Players, eventually, the A-Players are going to leave.
Use this post as a checklist to determine if you have a B&C-Players within your Forum, and then decide whether you want to keep this person or open up the space for someone new.